


Bees in Bed: Doubt

by Kiiratam



Series: Bees in Bed [19]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Yang has PTSD, Yangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 15:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21038231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiratam/pseuds/Kiiratam
Summary: Yang is trapped in a nightmare when Blake wakes her up.Takes place between Volumes 5 and 6. (My BMBLB fic index)





	Bees in Bed: Doubt

Adam smiled toothily at her, as she looked back up from her fallen arm. He'd taken it _again_. Her metal fingers twitched, scrabbling on the hard tile of the dining hall.

  
His sword resheathed, he lowered his weight, ready to spring forward and take something else from her. What would it be? Her other arm? Or just her head? The waiting, the helplessness, was the worst part. Even if Yang had still been wearing Ember Celica, she couldn't have raised it. Her entire body felt heavy, leaden-

  
Her scroll buzzed.

  
Both of them looked at it.

  
Yang recovered first, grabbing and unrolling it. "Sorry, gotta take this."

  
"I'm trying to **torment** you here!"

  
Yang placed her scroll between her shoulder and ear, frowning at Adam and putting her finger to her lips. Couldn't he see she was trying to listen?

  
"Yeah, I can pick up milk for Ruby. ..._More_ fish? Blake, we already have salmon."

  
Adam started yelling, but she had already turned away, tuning him out.

  
"Okay, I guess I can get more. But we're eating the salmon tonight." Yang rolled her eyes. "I love you too." She closed her a scroll, turning back to face Adam. " Sorry, that was the wife. Blake doesn't say hi. Gotta go."

  
"You can't get away from me that easily, Yang! I'll follow you, wherever you go! I'll hunt you to the ends of the world! Blake is _mine_! Not yours! **Never** yours!"

  
"Push off, goat boy. I'm waking up. "

* * *

  
Yang opened her eyes as her scroll buzzed again. That had felt good. Could she get someone to contact her every time she slipped into a nightmare? She felt better rested now than she had in weeks. Of course, the actual bed might have something to do with that.

  
She grabbed her scroll and unrolled it, automatically looking up and checking on Ruby as she did. Still safely asleep, snoring away.

  
Hopefully this wasn't another late night meeting with Blake's dad. Once had been more than enough. Why had he thought that was a reasonable thing to do?

  
Yang shoved all that to the side as she read the message. From Blake.

  
<I couldn't sleep. I'm out in the courtyard, looking at the stars. Want to come out?>

  
And a second message, only a minute later.

  
<If you do come, could you bring a blanket? It's a little chilly out here.>

  
Yang rolled onto her arm, pushing off of it and bounding out of bed.

  
...Or would have, if she still had that arm. She looked over at the wall, where her new arm was charging.

  
How long had she fantasized about this? Blake reaching out to her, inviting her somewhere quiet, romantic... Just the two of them. It wasn't that she hadn't responded when Yang invited her - to dinner, downtown, the beach, on a ride, museums, tea, anywhere. But Yang had wanted Blake to heal enough to reach out to her. Didn't want to force herself into the hole Adam had left, leaving Blake dependent on her.

  
And now Blake was reaching out, and Yang didn't know what she wanted to do. Or, she did, but she didn't know if she could.

  
It would be so easy. _Just do it, Yang. Roll out of bed, go downstairs. Enjoy yourself. You don't even need to put your arm on. You probably don't even need shoes. Or pants._

  
So why wasn't she moving?

  
It wasn't her arm. It was just an excuse at the moment. A convenient reason why she wasn't already out the door. She'd been plenty quick to move when Ghira had contacted her. Made her think that the White Fang- that Adam- had Blake. She'd made it to the courtyard in record time.

  
So why was the thought of Blake, sitting on the ground, smiling as she looked up at the stars, just a little chilly - why did that leave Yang locked in her bed?

  
She'd missed Blake. Desperately. Yang had dreamt about her, more than once. She'd hoarded those dreams, even the bad ones. Had held them close over the winter, on the long road to Mistral. A link to someone who had abandoned her. A link back to her old self, back when she thought everything would turn out for the best.

  
_Get up, Xiao Long. Stop moping and move!_

  
Yang reached up to hold her pillow tightly. The Blake outside wasn't a dream. She couldn't revisit her night after night, and try again, keep trying until she found words that worked. A path through the intertwined tangle of emotions that hurt less than the others. She only had one chance.

  
_Take it. Please. I want to do this._

  
And there she was, back again. Mid-air, throwing a right, watching Adam pivot. The hiss of steel as he drew, too fast. Even if the moments trickled by now. Helpless again, trapped by her own momentum.

  
_I can't._

  
Yang buried her face in her pillow. Didn't even try to stop the tears anymore. They helped. It was something to do. Something she _could_ do. Cry, or not cry. A little choice, one she could actually manage. Maybe if she made enough little choices, kept practicing, she'd be able to make big choices again. Save them up, hoard them. Be ready for Raven again. Adam. Blake.

  
_Not now. Not yet. I will, I swear I will, I want to, but not yet. Not today. Ask tomorrow. Later. Please._

  
She released the pillow, scrabbled for her scroll. Let her fingers lie for her, barely able to see the screen through her tears.

  
<Sorry, Ruby had a bad dream, and I'm kind of stuck. Another time?>

  
She hated it. She was so weak. Using her little sister as an excuse. As a shield. Yang sent the message.

  
Blake's reply came back quickly. <That's alright. Give Ruby a hug for me, okay?>

  
Had she guessed the lie? Would she understand?

  
...Did it even matter? Blake would believe her, or she wouldn't. Who cared what she thought? Yang told herself that she didn't. Kept telling herself that. Maybe it would start working.

  
_She left me. I can't trust her. Not with anything that actually matters. Like Ruby. Or me._

  
_ ...Ruby left me too. But she had her reasons, and I can understand them. Ruby was just doing what she had to. Throwing herself out in front, so I didn't have to take all the hits._

  
_ And if I believe Ghira, Blake was trying to do the same thing. Be her own Semblance. Taking any White Fang hits meant for RWBY. For me._

  
_** Do** I believe Ghira? He tricked me out into the courtyard, tried to get me weaponless and alone, just to test my mettle. See if I **deserved** to be Blake's friend._

  
_ But once he was there, he didn't dissemble. Once he had me there on his terms, why bother? What did he have to gain by lying about Blake's motives?_

  
_ He just wants his daughter to be safe. Just like my dad wants Ruby and me to be safe. But he can't actually do anything about it himself. Blake is a Huntress, and that isn't safe. All Ghira can do is make sure that everyone around Blake is skilled, and cares for her. That's the only guarantee of safety he's going to get._

  
_ He wants me to trust Blake. To protect her._

  
_ ...I don't think I could stop. When I don't have time to think, to brood over everything, I just act. And I already know I'll throw myself between Blake and anything. Anyone. Again._

  
_ And I don't want to stop protecting Blake. She's worth it. Even from a grim, dispassionate viewpoint. She saved Haven, no question. Kept the CCTS from another maiming. One, Atlas can repair, given time. Two, or more, that gets more difficult. And she's decapitated the White Fang. Regardless what comes out of it, she's broken their power. Atlas would give her a medal for that, if she wasn't another Faunus. And ex-White Fang herself._

  
_ And RWBY needs her. Whatever I think, whatever I feel, we're the only ones who even have an idea of what's going on. Not that Qrow or Oz have bothered to fill us in, beyond the basics. And I can't trust what Raven told me. She has every reason to lie. I don't know her, I don't know her tells. And she already abandoned me. Before she even met me. ...I need to know more. Who else can I even ask, though?_

  
Yang heard a creak of someone coming up the stairs. Blake. Was she going to peek in? Try to wish Yang a good night? Check if Yang had lied?

  
Holding her breath, Yang waited. Ruby's snoring covered up any more sounds Blake made. Yang had been lucky to get the warning from the stairs.

  
_Please don't. If you learned anything from me, anything from us, please just trust me. Even though I'm lying to you. Even though I'm hiding my fear, pretending it's Ruby's. I can't. I'm trying, but I can't. I'm not the same. **We're** not the same._

  
She heard the door to Weiss and Blake's room open, and gently shut.

  
Yang buried her head in her pillow, crying again.

  
_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

  
She could hear Adam laughing inside her head.

  
_Go to sleep, Yang. Come back to your dreams. I'm waiting for you. ...Blake is here. Don't you want to save her? Don't you want to **protect** her? Rush in and die, little sunny dragon._

  
Yang swallowed, curling herself around her pillow.

  
_Breathe in, hold it, breathe out._

  
_ Breathe in, hold it, breathe out._

  
_ Breathe in, hold it, breathe out._

  
She slid to the edge of the bed, reached out and grabbed her new arm. Socketed it in place. Stopped her tears.

  
_Breathe in, hold it, breathe out._

  
_ Let's see if you're so confident when I'm ready for you, Adam._

  
Yang rolled the fingers of her Atlasian arm, made a fist. Blew out a breath and closed her eyes. Back to sleep. Back to battle.


End file.
